"This week," Brian announced, "I have programmed a course into the GPS in your car. That'll be the little voice telling you when to turn. Listen to the little voice. If you get lost it'll have to reroute, and there is nothing more annoying in the world than, 'Rerouting...rerouting...' This is not a race." Was he feeling okay? "Just get the ( Read more... )

"Today we're going to practice parking," Brian declared. "Not parallel parking, that's another thing. Just pulling your car into a parking space...after racing to get there." Of course. "So, what you're going to do is, you're going to race around the block, and then pull into one of the handwavily provided parking spaces, marked out with cones ( Read more... )

"Okay, so," Brian said, "Same thing as last time, except this time you're gonna go around the block. So. Have fun with those right turns, kids. Anyone with any questions better ask 'em quick, because ready? Set, go!"

This week, the cars were lined up neatly on an anonymous city street ( Read more... )

"Okay," Brian said, "it's time to get behind the wheel of your cars. I've handwavily set up a simple course for you--the goal is to stay between the orange cones and get from point A to point B. All you have to do is start your car, put it into drive, push the gas pedal and steer, then push the brake and put the car in park. You're going through ( Read more... )

Class today would be meeting in the Danger Shop, and once they had gathered, Brian pushed a button to make something he had painstakingly programmed in ahead of time appear. "This is a car," Brian told his students. Oh, God. It was so beautiful. He might need a moment. He might be biting his knuckle. Okay, he was good. He was in love, but he ( Read more... )

"Hey, guys, welcome to Driver's Ed," Brian said to his students. "If you didn't know what you'd be driving when you signed up for this class, cars, we'll be driving cars. If you don't know what a car is...we'll get to that." This island. "This week, I just want to know your name, where you're from, and what experience you have with cars before ( Read more... )

Cara had her class meet her at the front of the school.

"For your final you'll be herding chickens."

It was something she was better equipped to judge than a driving test.

Cara was neither in the classroom or the Danger Shop. There was however, a sign on both.

Please tell me none of you are that stupid.

Looks like class was cancelled, folks.

Cara was waiting for her class outside the Danger Shop, the door of which was open and where an ominous bwa-cawking was coming from.

"Danger Shop's being weird again," Cara said, gesturing over her shoulder. "So you're fighting an evil chicken."

She paused, then added. "Well, eviller chicken. Haven fun."